Doing the Work Our Soul Must Have
Spiritual Direction and Discernment for Black Women
As Black women, we are often celebrated for being strong. But strength has sometimes come at the cost of our own rest, care, and tenderness. I love the words of Rev. Karlene Sekou, who reminds us:
“Yes, we are strong, but we are human. We are worthy of and require love, care, mutuality, reciprocity and we must create and control our own narrative.”
Those words stop me in my tracks because they remind me of a deeper truth: we were never meant to carry the weight of life on our own.
Jesus’ Invitation to Rest
In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus makes us a promise that still echoes through the centuries:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28–29, NLT)
Spiritual direction is one way we can answer that call. It is a practice of slowing down enough to let God guide the narrative of our lives, instead of trying to hold everything together by our own strength.
So What Is Spiritual Direction?
At its heart, spiritual direction is not about fixing what’s broken. It’s not counseling or coaching. Instead, it is a prayerful space where you can pause, breathe, and listen for God’s presence.
Some of my favorite descriptions of spiritual direction include:
“A contemplative prayer practice. It is holy listening.” —Therese Taylor-Stinson
“It is an ancient form of care that contributes to the spiritual formation of individuals and addresses the whole being.” —Dr. Barbara Peacock
Katie Cannon tells us to “Do the work your soul must have.”
I often describe it this way: spiritual direction is about sister soul care. Together, we walk as spiritual companions and we ask, “How is it with your soul?” Then we listen—both to your life and to God.
Spiritual Direction and Black Women’s Wisdom
In many Black church spaces—especially among Black women—there’s already a deep, intuitive culture of spiritual listening. The language might not always be “spiritual direction,” but the practice is there: praying through decisions, feeling led, seeking confirmation, listening for God’s voice, waiting on peace. That is discernment.
As a spiritual director, I don’t come with answers or advice. Instead, I walk with women as they learn to trust how God is already speaking in their lives. It’s about slowing down, paying attention, and naming the stirrings of the Spirit.
“I help women slow down and listen to what God is already saying—it’s about discernment, not advice.”
“I companion women through spiritual discernment—not to give them answers, but to help them listen more deeply to their own knowing and the Spirit’s movement.”
Spiritual direction is simply a prayerful process of discernment. It’s about creating space to notice God’s presence, to find clarity, and to move forward with peace.
Why It Matters for Us
For women who have been told to always be strong, spiritual direction offers something radically different: a space to be still, honest, and human. It is a way of recognizing that God is already at work in us and around us, even in the most ordinary parts of our lives.
D. Darrell Griffin puts it beautifully:
“Spiritual direction provides a place to notice, discern, and discover where God is present and active in our everyday lives. The journey home to attend to the needs of our souls touches something central, and it resonates deeply with who we are.”
—Spiritual Direction for African Americans in Crisis
That journey is where transformation happens.
An Invitation
If you are tired, weary, or simply longing for more of God in your everyday life, I want you to know: you don’t have to walk alone.
Spiritual direction is an invitation to step into the “unforced rhythms of grace” (Matthew 11:29–30, MSG), to recover your life, and to discover God’s presence right where you are.
Want to Go Deeper?
The journey doesn’t have to end here. Join my email list to receive soul care reflections, early access to my latest offerings, and invitations to retreats, writing circles, and other sacred spaces. Let’s keep walking together toward rest, healing, and wholeness.