Doing the Work Our Soul Must Have
Spiritual Direction & Discernment for Black Women
As Black women, we are often celebrated for being strong. But strength—especially the kind the world demands from us—can come at the cost of our rest, tenderness, and well-being. I often think of the words of Rev. Karlene Sekou:
“Yes, we are strong, but we are human. We are worthy of and require love, care, mutuality, reciprocity and we must create and control our own narrative.”
These words stop me in my tracks because they remind me of a deeper truth: we were never meant to carry the weight of life alone.
Jesus’ Invitation to Rest
In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus offers an invitation that has carried weary souls for centuries:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
— Matthew 11:28–29 (NLT)
Spiritual direction is one way we answer that call.
It is a gentle practice of slowing down long enough to let God guide the narrative of our lives, instead of trying to hold everything together with our own strength.
What Is Spiritual Direction?
At its heart, spiritual direction is not counseling, fixing, or advising.
It is prayerful companionship—a sacred pause where you can breathe, listen, and become aware of God’s presence.
Some of my favorite descriptions include:
“A contemplative prayer practice. It is holy listening.” — Therese Taylor-Stinson
“An ancient form of care that contributes to spiritual formation and addresses the whole being.” — Dr. Barbara Peacock
Katie Cannon reminds us to “Do the work your soul must have.”
For me, spiritual direction is how we do that work.
I often describe it this way: spiritual direction is sister soul care—a journey shared with a compassionate companion who asks, “How is it with your soul?”
Then together, we listen—to your life, to your longings, and to the still, steady voice of God.
Spiritual Direction & Black Women’s Wisdom
In many Black communities, especially among Black women, spiritual listening is already part of our cultural and faith DNA. We pray through decisions. We wait on confirmation. We speak of being “led,” “nudged,” or “at peace.”
That is discernment.
As a spiritual director, I do not show up with answers.
My role is to help women trust the ways God is already speaking in their everyday lives.
I often tell my directees:
“I help women slow down and listen to what God is already saying—it’s about discernment, not advice.”
“My work is to companion you, not direct you—to help you hear your own knowing and the Spirit’s movement.”
Spiritual direction becomes a prayerful process of discernment—a space to name what stirs within you, notice God’s presence, and walk forward with clarity and peace.
Why Spiritual Direction Matters for Black Women
For Black women who have been conditioned to be endlessly resilient, spiritual direction offers something radically countercultural:
a place to rest, to be honest, and to be fully human.
It is a space where you can:
release the pressure to be strong
tell the truth about your soul
notice where God is moving
discern the next faithful step
reclaim your narrative with God at the center
D. Darrell Griffin captures it beautifully:
“Spiritual direction provides a place to notice, discern, and discover where God is present and active in our everyday lives… The journey home to attend to the needs of our souls touches something central and resonates deeply with who we are.”
— Spiritual Direction for African Americans in Crisis
This is the journey where transformation happens—quietly, consistently, and with grace.
An Invitation to Rest & Discernment
If you are tired, weary, or simply longing for more of God in your everyday life, hear this clearly:
You do not have to walk alone.
Spiritual direction is an invitation into what Eugene Peterson calls the “unforced rhythms of grace.” It is a gentle way to recover your life and rediscover the God who meets you right where you are.
Want to Go Deeper?
If this reflection speaks to you, I’d love to keep walking with you.
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Let’s keep doing the work our souls must have—together.